More rubbish from the people who don’t understand the Internet

Well here we go again, our glorious government, under the auspices of its 2nd unelected leader, Lord Mandelson, has decided that they are going to give those naughty p2p people a thorough spanking for downloading all those movies and music.

God, I’m having trouble writing this today as my dog, Angry Pet, is laughing too hard at what I’m writing, as even a Labrador understands the Internet better than our government.

You see, what happened was that Lord Mandelson was having a meal with David Geffen on his yacht, when it appears that David slipped something in Mandy’s Raki (you know what these Hollywood types are like).  The effect must have been something like LSD, as he immediately started seeing purple seas, yellow skies and a way to stop people downloading copyright material, all things that anyone not in a drug-induced trance would immediately realise was impossible.

Perhaps for starters he should look at the way the Swedish government so effectively closed down The Pirate Bay.  That worked so well didn’t it?

Now, lets look at the effective ways of tracking down people who upload copyrighted material to the Net.  You see, this isn’t quite as cut and dried as it may seem.  The extortionists, sorry the RIAA, MPAA, BPI, etc would like you to believe they they use extraordinary forensic methods to track down these misguided souls.  However, the method they use, you can use.  Yes, you can try this at home.

Open your favourite Bittorent client (I’ll use uTorrent) and click on the tab marked Peers after selecting a live torrent.  Now choose one of the peers and make a note of the address, particularly the domain name (one of mine comes from wanadoo.fr).  Right click on this peer and untick Resolve IPs.  Make a note of the numbers there.  Right, if you were a member of MediaSentry, or a similar organisation employed by the racketeers, sorry media distributors, then you get your cosy lawyers to write to the Internet provider to obtain the name and address of whomsoever was using that IP address at the time and date of the infringement.

Sounds cut and dried, doesn’t it?  They should be so lucky.  You see, not everyone uses their own IP address when they download.  I know, I know, how could anyone be so underhand? Well, actually, anyone who knows what they are doing, that’s who.  There are two popular ways; these are spoofing and using a proxy.  Do a search on Google and you’ll soon see what an interesting subject this is – well that is if you are the same sort of mad geek as me, that is.

Now proxies issue their own IP addresses in the normal way, except they are not in the same country as the downloader.  For example, there is a very reasonably priced one in Canada, that my dog tells me is very reliable.  But anyone who can bend over backwards to lick his arse cannot be that discerning, even if he is eating with David Geffen.

The bigger problem is the spoofers, because they use any IP address they can get their hands on and that means yours and mine.  So even if I’ve never heard of torrents or downloading, I could still get a threatening letter in the post.  Of course, if your IP address gets spoofed three times, you won’t be able to read this any more, if they have their way.

This is a brief overview of how bloody stupid this whole idea is and I haven’t even got onto the subject of encryption.  So, if you’re still here reading this, think yourself lucky, but the odds are you won’t stay lucky forever if the current government has its way.

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